i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
