Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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