Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
