i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
