Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
