You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
