White coat. Heels.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
