she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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