And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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