Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
