You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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