I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
