I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
