ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
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She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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