This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Let's get the cat blown out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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