I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
