I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
