I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
