"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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