new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
