I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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