Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
