He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
