Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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