I think my vagina is haunted
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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