Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
