So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
