too bad you live with your parents still
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
