No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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