Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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