..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
