I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I love you.
Bad choice
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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