she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
