i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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