Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
