So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
