But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
