dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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