you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
