jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
