We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
