It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
