3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
