Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
