So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
