She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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