Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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