i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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