You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
