i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize