you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
