Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
