i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
