so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
