There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
