i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
