Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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