i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
