The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
