Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
