I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?