Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT