Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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