youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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