about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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