Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
