it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
