shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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