dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize