we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.