I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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