Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible